Effort is (sort of) everything
Hey Parents!
Today, Dr. Carol Dweck is talking with us about effort. Many people falsely equate a growth mindset with effort, effort, effort. It's true they're related, but here's the full story straight from Dr. Dweck.
Does effort make you feel bad?
Do you find yourself shying away from professional opportunities or personal developments that turn out to require a lot of effort? Join the crowd! It can feel bad when you're trying hard at something and it's not coming easily. Your <em>fixed mindset persona</em> (see Mindset Curio #2) will have a field day! But get over it. It's a fixed mindset myth that things come easily to successful people. In truth, when something you want requires hard work, it's usually a sign you're on the right path to growth.
Sorry, hard work is not enough
Now that you've gotten over the fact that success in life requires effort, I've got more bad news. Hard work is not enough. Once I started trending towards a growth mindset, I thought, "Okay, I'm willing to put in the effort." But I soon realized it took more than just effort. I needed to create strategies, overcome setbacks, find mentors, and continually refine my approach! How exhausting is that? If I did all this, I wanted some guarantees. But the success you envision is never guaranteed. However, that's where the adventure lies.
But wait, there's some good news
If you combine sustained effort with creative strategies, mentoring, and constant refinement, it can take you to places you never imagined. So stop seeing effort as a negative, but also don't embrace it as a panacea. Effort is to success as yeast is to bread. Yeast won't automatically make your loaf delicious, but without it you have no chance of rising.
EXERCISE: Trying smarter
Think of something you gave up on because it was too hard—a specific project (e.g. redoing your kitchen), a relationship (e.g. someone who moved away), or a new skill you wanted to learn (e.g. cooking healthfully, coding Java, or running). The most popular Curious learning categories below might jog a few memories:
Write down the project or skill that you gave up on because it required too much effort. (Make it something you still want.)
Write down the specific obstacles that caused you to quit. What else could you have done before giving up?
What narrative did you create for yourself to cover up your lack of effort or effective perseverance? What do you tell people today who ask you about it?
Now think about any mentors or skills or resources that could have helped you. Who/what would they be?
Now create a new plan to be successful with your project or skill. Map the steps you would need to take to rescue the project/skill that you gave up on. What resources or people will help make it happen? How will you employ them?
Consider actually implementing the plan from above—towards the goal you gave up on or one like it.